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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23340415">the bridge of life and death</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparkling_r3njun/pseuds/sparkling_r3njun'>sparkling_r3njun</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sad Renjun [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Boys Kissing, Character Death, M/M, Making Out, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Spin the Bottle, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Yes someone dies, i'm sad rn so heres a sad story, renjun is clingy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 08:01:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,488</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23340415</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparkling_r3njun/pseuds/sparkling_r3njun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>everyone has those days, but what if every day is one of those days. a day where you can't stand to live, breathe, exist. that's caused by self-hatred. what if you're impulsive? can you impulsively jump off a bridge? there's a bridge near jeno's house, what happens when a sleep-over ends with a death?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Huang Ren Jun/Everyone, Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno, Huang Ren Jun/Mark Lee, Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sad Renjun [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1672075</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>the bridge of life and death</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>read the tags pls there are triggering things in this book</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>renjun sat in his bedroom painting. His paintbrush dipped in and red covered its soft edge. he drug it across the canvas and the red paint spilling down. he looked at the work of art that was his arm. his favorite red paint was his own blood. his favorite paintbrush was a razor blade. </p><p>he let out a sigh before rolling his black sleeve down, not closing the wounds. he stood up and packed a bag, he was going to jeno's house for a sleep-over. he put his notebook in the back of the bag before zipping it closed.</p><p>he looked around the room one last time before shutting the door shut. he waved at his mom before leaving. he got into his car, a small red toyota carola. he threw his bag into the backseat and pulled out of his driveway.</p><p>he drove to the other side of town, pulled into jeno's drive-way before parking. he grabbed his bag, before getting out of the car. he walked right into jeno's house, waving at the other boy's parents who smiled at him, they were leaving that night, for a business trip or something.</p><p>renjun pushed jeno's door open, he walked over to jeno, who was sitting on his bed. he sat next to the younger, laying his head on his shoulder. jeno set the guitar to the side, pulling renjun closer. jeno pulled renjun onto his lap, kissing the older's cheeks. </p><p>renjun leaned his forehead on jeno's and sighed. jeno grabbed his chin and connected their lips. renjun happily kissed back, eager to the other boy. jeno licked renjun's bottom lip and slipped his tongue in as renjun opened it for him.</p><p>renjun's small hands traced jeno's jaw-line. he pulled away, foreheads connected, panting."baby your so pretty,"jeno mumbled to renjun. </p><p>
  <em>lies. all lies.</em>
</p><p>the door opened and in came jaemin and donghyuck laughing with one another."oops sorry didn't realize you two planned on fucking,"donghyuck said raising his hands up. jaemin laughed as they closed the door behind them. </p><p>renjun moved off of jeno's lap and over to jaemin. he wrapped his arms around the other boy and let jaemin hold him. jeno let out a huff, while jaemin smirked."you smell nice, nana,"renjun said looking up at jaemin with big eyes. </p><p>"thanks, love,"jaemin said pecking renjun's forehead, they moved over to the bed, donghyuck huffing in loneliness. donghyuck laid on his back legs hanging off the bed. renjun detached from jaemin and crawled over to donghyuck and placed himself on the other's hips, before hugging him.</p><p>donghyuck placed his hands on renjun's waist and held him like that. the door opened again and the youngest two, plus mark walked in. they gave the four on the bed weird looks before sitting next to them. </p><p>they talked slightly, renjun not saying much, until donghyuck sat up all of a sudden causing renjun to squeal and latch himself to the other, afraid of falling off. </p><p>"let's play spin the bottle, "donghyuck suggests. everyone agrees and get's up, renjun being carried by donghyuck."bitch did you gain weight, you feel heavier than normal,"donghyuck commented. damn you can feel renjun's sadness, the weight on his chest is literally weighing him down.</p><p>donghyuck sits down with renjun in his lap, but the older boy crawled off it and over to jaemin. jaemin cuddled him and made him feel warm.</p><p>jeno sat down, placing an empty glass coke bottle on the ground. he sat next to jaemin and renjun as donghyuck started the game, the bottle landing on jisung. the youngest let out a sigh and spun the bottle, it landing on renjun, who was laying across jaemin's lap now, letting the other gently rub his back. renjun let out a whine and rolled off of jaemin.</p><p>he crawled over to jisung, slid onto the younger's lap and let jisung kiss him." remember the rules, at least 45 seconds,"donghyuck said in the background. jisung pulled back and whined about the amount of time before grabbing renjun's chin in his hand and kissing the older boy.</p><p>"okay, time,"donghyuck said. the two pulled apart, renjun's face red while jisung glared at donghyuck. renjun moved off the younger and onto the floor, he spun next and it landed on mark.</p><p>mark let out a groan and pulled renjun onto his lap, he kissed deeper than jisung, running his tongue over renjun's bottom lips, getting a whine. he pulled away and huffed, renjun moved off his lap and sat next to him. the game went on everyone kissed at least two people, till they got bored, jaemin ordering a pizza. </p><p>it arrived and renjun just looked at it, slipped it onto mark's plate before going to the bathroom. he grabbed a different sweatshirt, one of jisung's he thinks, with him and changed out of the blood crusted one. </p><p>he walked back into the room, to find everyone huddled together, whispering, he hadn't made a noise just stood in the doorway, listening to the hushed voices.</p><p>"i'm being serious before when i was carrying renjun, he just felt a lot heavier,"donghyuck said.</p><p>"so you'r saying he's fat,"mark asked.</p><p>"yes, god your so slow somedays,"donghyuck said and hit him on the arm.</p><p>"he's not that good of a kisser either, you know, from the number of people he's kissed it's surprising,"jisung said.</p><p>they kept picking at his flaws till he dropped the hoodie on the ground and rushed down the stairs. running out, not shutting the door. he ran and ran, if his own friends talked like that behind his back, what were others saying?</p><p>he knew he would do this, but didn't know this early in the night, it was only midnight. he ran for the park, the one that held the bridge. his bridge. he only had himself and the clothes he was wearing as he ran. </p><p>he removed his shoes as he stood on the bridge, on the edge. he looked at the moon and felt the wind whip his hair around. the water under him crashed, it called him. he felt the tears rush down his face, he cried before stepping.</p><p>the memories of his life played, the good moments, the bad, and the in-between. he hit the water, thick sweatshirt soaking all the water in, pulling him farther down. his hair went crazy as the water rushed around them, crashing against rocks. </p><p>he took a breath in, lungs slowly filling with water. a strong wave crashed and pulled his body farther down, his head slamming into a rock on the bottom. he lost consciousness, eyes closing as his body was being thrown around in the water. </p><p>red and blue lights shown everywhere, they looked for the boy hoping to save him. they wouldn't he was gone, never coming back, all because the world pushed him over the edge. he was gone now.</p><p>his body rose with a wave and they saw him. they got his body, but once they saw the large gash in the side of his head, and how he didn't respond to anything, they knew he was gone. </p><p>the boys friends had chased after him and only got there to see him jump off the edge. donghyuck cried as he blamed himself, he was the one making fun of the other, he's the reason the boy jumped to his death.</p><p>jisung and chenle sobbed into one another's arms as they pulled the body from the water, they were all at fault. jisung sobbed as he saw his hoodie on the other male, renjun always found comfort in wearing his friend's clothes as he put it, their scents soothed him. </p><p>they were talked too by a police officer, then their parents were all called to pick them up at the hospital. they cried the whole way there, and as their parents picked them up, as renjun's parents came in sobbing because of their son. jeno was taken home, by his aunt, he went to his room and cried. cried till he noticed a bag in the corner of the room.</p><p>it was renjun's bag from earlier. he walked to it and found a notebook. he opened it, hoping the contents would make him feel better but as he read he cried more, it was a diary about his days and they got darker and darker. until he came to the last few pages, they held notes. notes to his friends and families. </p><p>apologizing, explaining, and telling them all how he lived in an evil headspace. jeno cried as he called the other boy's parents telling them what he found, and they were soon at his door along with his other friends. they all sat down and each read the note.</p><p>crying because of the boy and how he was now gone. the bridge of life and death had claimed him.</p>
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